Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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