he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
