i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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