yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
