in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
