life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
