worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
