she looked like the bat from fern gully.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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