yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
