This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
