Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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