I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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