My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
