hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So many bounce houses so little time
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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