yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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