I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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