their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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