We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
