Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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