oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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