so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
