Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
