Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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