So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My feet surprised me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
