break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
