Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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