it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
