Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
