bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
