I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
