I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
