shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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