Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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