Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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