Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
