All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
