I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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