he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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