hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
