Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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