Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
