I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
