tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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