Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
