biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
