I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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