Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
