Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
