He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
