He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
